passive presence

"Too lazy to be ambitious,
I let the world take care of itself.
Ten days' worth of rice in my bag;
a bundle of twigs by the fireplace.
Why chatter about delusion and enlightenment?
Listening to the night rain on my roof,
I sit comfortably, with both legs stretched out." -Ryokan

daily activity

"Forms of action are very important in Zen practice, but not when used as a technique. If you use them as a technique, sooner or later you will become fed up with repeating the same forms day after day. In each form, walking, chanting, eating, gassho - you must find peace and harmony."
- Dainin Katagari, from"Returning to Silence"

day after day, we are compelled to take action, in order to live. our actions, and our state of mind, is the expression of our lives. each step we take, is our life, just as it is. to step with a full presence of mind, gently, calmly guiding our bodies through our actions, with a keen sense of what it is we are doing. we should let go of thinking "I am doing this wrong" or "I am doing". we should simple do what we must.

we may try to break ourselves out of our careless or inattentive states by sitting in zazen, or practicing yoga, or just stopping what we are doing and breathing deeply, whatever it may be, whatever we do to "come back to ourselves" we should not think "I am coming back, I should be attentive". we should just notice our inattentiveness and just keep going, or sit in zazen, but without thinking we are doing anything different.

our actions are already the actions of Buddha, we are always within the realm of Buddha Dharma. we are never disconnected from it. so if we are attentive or not, when we focus ourselves more attentively we should just be attentive. our attentiveness will operate and we will feel calm. we do not need to think we have started to meditate, or accomplished anything. just feel the attentiveness and continue as naturally as you can. again and again. we should not think, "i have achieved mindfulness." if we think this way, most likely our actions will become like techniques to "achieve" something. in our striving to achieve, day after day, we may become fed up with our daily practice.

we should find a way, to let our thoughts go as they go, and just be more attentive.
surely, if we strive less, and just practice and accept whatever state we are in, our mindfulness will become more smooth and seamless.

open way zen, sangha

I just arrived home after my first visit and sitting with the Open Way Zen group in Kelvin Grove, Brisbane. the sitting and lecture was supervised by Peter Genjo Bruza (on the right, on the left is Master Hogen-san the founder of OWZ who I am yet to meet). it was the first time I have met with a sangha since the fall 2009 sesshin, with the Adelaide Zen Group. it was nice to listen to the lecture and to feel the collective intention to practice zazen, meditation.
 Peter gave a talk based around an excerpt from a poem by Rumi, a Sufi poet, giving his own commentary and advice not to translate the words in a literary sense but rather to understand it from our own direct experience. I was touched by the content and found I could relate to the commentary given.
 in short the essence of the teaching was, to have an open awareness that is direct. to be focused in an open, multi directional sense. not to focus too hard with great intentions of achieving a goal or an end and thereby closing of the senses to all that is.  to find a balance between an open awareness and direct experience. to be sharply attuned to all that is happening inside and out. Peter also touched on the idea of necessary illusion against the backdrop of perfect reality. the two are part of reality, yet, we go back and forth between the two. to have our senses closed is to not be in tune with what is, but yet it is necessary to experience this illusion in order to live in and be aware of perfect reality. also we can not only be open for we may fall out of balance with directness, with awareness. we cannot not be too focused because we will lose touch with perfect reality. we cannot keep our senses closed, nor can we be completely open all of the time. we need to find the point where the two meet and realize that the two are one, and the one is also two. and more importantly to just simply be aware of how we are constantly in flux between the two.

 I sit, on average, at least 5 times a week at home, and I practice yoga (my own version, for stiff old joints) at least once a day. it is good to practice alone to find your seat, the best way of sitting for your body type. i must say however, that there is nothing that can compare to sitting in zazen with a sangha before recieving the advice and teaching of an elder practitioner or teacher. often the lecture has one or more points which resound in and penetrate the heart. I cant help but feel a deep appreciation for my elders, for those more experienced and wiser than I am.

 I will go back to meet and sit with the Open Way Zen group.

no one to harm, emptiness in form

"if you can empty your boat, while crossing the river of the world, no one will oppose you and no one will seek to harm you." - Jack Kornfield.

in life, someone may seek to harm you, and many will oppose you.
the intention of the phrase, quoted above, is not to say that after reaching some state of liberation people will no longer oppose you, or seek to harm you. the reason for saying such a phrase is not to teach you something, but rather to ignite a vision from within, a realization. the author or speaker is fully aware that people will oppose and harm us, his point is not to deny this fact.

the central subject of this phrase is the ego, or self, I, me, you.
and the intended affect is to enable us to look within, to let go of unnecessary clinging to our ego, to the "I" to which we are attached. in recognizing that we have an ego, when we go further into analysis of our identity, we see our selves in relation to the world and other people. we see "who we think we are." if we are honest in our enquiry we can see that the "I" is a conglomerate of images, thoughts, wishes, impressions, craving, desire, etc... and even perhaps an emulation of an ideal self, who we want to become is included there as well. when we boil all these down we can say that generally the ego is not much more then a thought, an impression, an illusion, a memory, a wish.

what happens, when one realizes, that the self is only a thought?
well, we are given a choice, do we feed our thoughts more thoughts, or do we set out to find what and who we really are. What is beyond our thoughts. 

when we no longer hold onto thoughts, there can be no thought that can harm us. we may feel pain or become ill, but the less we associate with our thoughts, the less we will suffer in life.
how do I find myself?
what does it mean to let go?
what is true?
how mush do I cause my own suffering?
am I truly happy?
who am I?
...there starts the path. we develop our way-seeking mind.

...who am I?

 thinking is a natural process, since not long after after our birth we have been thinking, so it is only natural that we should think. we should not stop thinking, the point of a spiritual journey is not to stop thinking. we should utilize our thoughts, as part of our human senses. a thought may arise from within, just as a cloud may suddenly take form in the sky before our eyes. when we see the cloud we can not will it to take form, nor can we force it to disappear. clouds follow the cycle of creation and death according to nature.
it is the same with thoughts. when one watches the inner seasons, suddenly there may be a thought arising, we should not try to suppress it or alter it, neither should we be bothered by its arising. we should notice it, acknowledge what the thought is, and allow it to pass naturally. moment to moment we should try to let things happen and simply notice how things take place within.
that is how we learn to let go. just as the cloud takes form and disintegrates without leaving a mark on the clear sky. while the cloud is in view, the sky is still present behind the cloud. in meditation, our mind, our nature is like the sky, clear and limitless. we train ourselves to through meditation to acknowledge the clarity of mind beyond the forms of thought.
thoughts may came and go but we do not forsake our mind to become the thought, just as the sky does not become the cloud. the thought is part of you, and has a place within but we should not identify the thought as our self. just as we do not call the cloud the sky.

...how do I let go?

as an athlete conditions their body to move to their will through practice and repetition, so does a spiritual athlete condition their mind. what one does in meditation is align the mind and body as one whole being, by following the breath, safely and peacefully in silence. when we follow our breath we are acknowledging our universal nature, and we begin to calm our thinking mind and let go into the unknown. in the focused concentration of an athlete, a thought will disturb the precision of action. over time, the athlete learns to identify with their body and mind in stillness, in silence, and that is the source of their power.

many people through history have taught the path of liberation from suffering and non attachment to self. by practicing meditation or mindfulness we develop the ability to see the mental habits which cause us so much suffering and confusion. we become the guard of the temple (mind), and oversee who or what enters through the doors (senses). we may see that for years we have allowed many enemies to enter, and that the temple may already be overrun by foes who have been terrorizing the residents.

after years of training in meditation we develop the strength of integrity and reclaim ownership of the temple ground. enemies may enter, but they will not reside.

when we calm the mind and align our body and mind, allowing things to be just as they are, senses in harmony with sense objects, we are truly ourselves, we let go of our thoughts, and we are able to live beyond harm, beyond thought. there is no One to harm.