Dogen encouraged his students to practice constantly emptying themselves and settle their minds. to let go of the conditioning towards selfishness. to practice zazen in each moment, in refined reverent activity. Dogen saw that what we are is in communion with all that is and all that exists inside and out. that all phenomena is our life, we are all things and all things support our lives. so when we cook, eat, chop wood, go to the toilet, we are experiencing this life, we are constantly interacting with and receiving support from this world. we actively create and experience our world through the senses. our detachment and our innate relationship with all things two sides of the one existence. we only have to take care of what is, right now, constantly settling our minds, and learn how to stay on that path no matter what distracts us along the way. from this understanding, Dogen saw that there is an appropriate manner for conducting ourselves in order to realise our innate empty nature. how and what we cook, and eat, was to Dogen the basis of zazen.
i had eaten okayu now and then before i moved to Japan, for around one year. i normally added some miso paste and organic dashi stock for taste and for nutritional value. since the turn of the new year, for the purpose of integrating this enabling food into my day to day life i have been eating okayu each morning.
Aco and i have been eating okayu for breakfast daily for the past two or so weeks. we occasionally change the accompanying ingredient. some days we might add umeboshi (salted plums), another day negi (spring onion), goji berries, or natto, or a spoonful of miso. i have never felt more internal balance in my recollected memory. i am no longer overwhelmed by heat in my body. there is a feeling of awareness and energy noticeably lower in my body then normal. i am now able soak in a hot bath without becoming restless from a feeling of being stifled by the heat.
normally, before this year, i was aware of an excess of energy and sometimes heat around my shoulders, neck, and head. this is no doubt a result of many years of identifying my head as my centre, by not releasing tension when I held to much, and by eating foods that produce high amounts of heat in my body and cause too much excess. now that i have had a small amount of years trying to keep my awareness in lower regions and recently adapting my diet to be more balanced and suitable to my condition, i am finally feeling a small amount of relief, and a shift in energy.
this year i have been recording my body temperature and weight. my daily temperature is lower, now being around a normal 36°C. my weight, 73.6 kilograms. just over two weeks ago i was 78.2 kilos. there is no doubt that the backup of undigested food has been washed away by daily black tea and okayu.
today we are fasting. only drinking small fruit and soy milk smoothies for breakfast lunch and dinner, and filling the emptiness with hot kokuzoucha, and dandelion tea. we prepared for this day, by reducing the size of our meals yesterday. i feel good, besides being very hungry. i feel light, focused, and calm. the feeling of spaciousness in my stomach and intestine is reflected by my mind. we will have a thick okayu for dinner as we start to end our semi-fast. tomorrow we will have a thin okayu for breakfast as well before returning to eating solid foods.
by fasting we can become more attuned to our body's and instinct by not overeating, by allowing our bodies to become hungry. fasting, and eating okayu, is like zazen, we empty our bodies, and as a result we can be more aware of what is. this is the way we would live, if our lives were not overwhelmed by the unnatural convenience of modern lives. we would be forced to survive with less food, and by our instinct and effort we would have to rely. this is what Dogen Zenji wished for us, to be free, to realise our natural mind and place in this world. by repeated practice and observation. constantly settling and calming our mind.
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